I'm so, so excited to say that we found the couple we are going to do surrogacy for! They are absolutely wonderful; even more wonderful than I had hoped for. Everything is getting very real now and it's starting to sink in that I'm going to give someone else a baby!
Yesterday we went to NWSC to meet with one of the coordinators and have a skype meeting with the couple. I kept it together pretty well beforehand but became extremely nervous while we were in the conference room waiting to call them. My stomach started to cramp, my heart was beating out of my chest, my palms felt like they were dripping sweat and I thought I might pee my pants. Then the call went through, I saw their smiling faces, and instantly felt better.
They are an amazing gay couple who live in Paris- how cool, right? Everything about them just seems so genuine and loving. We talked for about an hour and could tell they just adore each other. We shared information about ourselves, why we wanted to do surrogacy, and discussed what each of our expectations are for many different topics involving the surrogacy process. We were all on the same page about everything! We went over everything from how many embryos we want to transfer to selective reduction and abortion to our fears about the journey.
My biggest fear going into the meeting was that we would be on seperate pages on things or that we just wouldn't click. I was afraid they wouldn't love us and we wouldn't love them. Both couple had read each other's profiles but there's only so much some words and pictures can describe. They seemed so awesome on paper, but would they follow through in person? They absolutely did. 1000%. They honestly exceeded my expectations and I remember at one point during the meeting I felt like I was dreaming because they are just so perfect. I felt love for them. LOVE. I don't know how to describe it any other way. They are so deserving and loving and I really can't wait to watch them become parents.
Our biggest criteria for choosing a couple is that we really want to make sure these babies are going into a loving, safe environment. I'm not worried about anyt of the physical aspects of the process, I just want to make sure the babies will be loved. There is no doubt in my mind that these men will provide an exceptional life for these kids. They told us how their families are just so excited and how one of their grandmas wanted to send us a bottle of wine haha These guys have every quality I was looking for. They are so fun and cute and passionate about creating a family. One of the things that really melted my heart was their genuine concern for me throughout the process. One of them said their biggest fear is that being a surrogate would have a negative effect on my life and my family. Of all the things he could be afraid of, he's afraid for me. How sweet is that?!
I am just through the moon excited to continue this journey with these two. I have had a smile on my face all day and I can't wipe it off! The next step in the process is getting the contracts made up and having a home inspection from a social worker. The home inspection is scheduled for October 6th and I should be hearing from one of the lawyers at the agency some time next week. Our dudes will be visiting Portland on October 18-25th so we are going to meet up with them while they are here. I can't wait!
Friday, September 19, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Pre-meeting jitters
There's only a day and a half until we will be sitting in the conference room at NWSC, calling our potential IPs on Skype. Ahhhhh I'm so nervous! I'm sure everything will go smoothly, I just hope we love them as much as we think we will. I'll post more about them after the meet but I wanted to jot down some of the questions/topics I want to make sure get covered during our meeting.
•At what point did you decide you wanted to have a Surrogate rather than other options for forming a family?
• What does your family think about you having a surrogate?
• What are your views on selective reduction?
• What type of deformities would you deem appropriate for abortion, if any?
• Will you be doing genetic testing on the embryos prior to transfer?
• What do you think about my desires for as natural a birth as possible?
• Will you support me in wanting to have a natural birth?
• How do you envision the birth of your baby/ies?
• Would you like me to pump breastmilk?
• What type of relationship are you wanting to have after the birth?
• How many kids do you hope to have in your life?
• What type of parent do you think you will be?
I'm sure I'll be adding to this list as the next day passes. I'm really hoping and praying that this meeting goes as well as I'm picturing it. I told a coworker that I was nervous about the meeting and he asked me "why?". Wellllll, maybe because I have to convince this family that I'm suitable to grow their children! That's pretty intimidating to me! He then very kindly reassured me that I am the happiest, most trustworthy person ever so that made me feel better haha. Wish me luck, guys! This should be exciting!
•At what point did you decide you wanted to have a Surrogate rather than other options for forming a family?
• What does your family think about you having a surrogate?
• What are your views on selective reduction?
• What type of deformities would you deem appropriate for abortion, if any?
• Will you be doing genetic testing on the embryos prior to transfer?
• What do you think about my desires for as natural a birth as possible?
• Will you support me in wanting to have a natural birth?
• How do you envision the birth of your baby/ies?
• Would you like me to pump breastmilk?
• What type of relationship are you wanting to have after the birth?
• How many kids do you hope to have in your life?
• What type of parent do you think you will be?
I'm sure I'll be adding to this list as the next day passes. I'm really hoping and praying that this meeting goes as well as I'm picturing it. I told a coworker that I was nervous about the meeting and he asked me "why?". Wellllll, maybe because I have to convince this family that I'm suitable to grow their children! That's pretty intimidating to me! He then very kindly reassured me that I am the happiest, most trustworthy person ever so that made me feel better haha. Wish me luck, guys! This should be exciting!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Steps of the Process
There are approximately 5,001 steps in the surrogacy process. I think most people involved in surrogacy would agree that "Hurry up and wait" is the motto of the process. Although it can be a huge test of patience, I'm glad there are so many hoops to jump through because that shows they are selective and want everything to work out well. Here's a run down of the steps through Northwest Surrogacy Center. The steps I've completed are in bold and the date after is when I completed them.
• Fill out initial questionnaire on NWSC website (7/1)
• Receive a call from NWSC representative (7/3)
• Fill out a more in depth Surrogate Questionnaire (7/7)
• Have a phone interview to discuss some of the harder parts of surrogacy- like abortion and selective reduction (7/11)
• In person interview with NWSC reps. Mark had to attend as well. At the interview, we went over the process pretty in depth, talked about our wishes for IPs and signed some more paperwork. (7/14)
• Send NWSC photos of our family for the profile, release my pregnancy medical records to NWSC so they can send them to Oregon Reproductive Medicine (the clinic that will conduct the IVF cycle), and have my health insurance policy faxed to NWSC. (All of this was completed by 8/7)
• Psychological evaluation- Mark and myself had to meet with a psychologist to make sure we are mentally stable enough to take this journey. It was very relaxed and layed back. I also had to take a 320+ true/false questionnaire. The psychologist then had to write a report and approve us. (Eval on 8/21, approved 9/5)
• Have ORM review and approve my medical records (9/3)
• Recieve IP profile and decide if you want to move forward with them- we did! (9/8)
• "Meet" the IPs. Our couple lives in France so we will be meeting them through Skype. (9/18)
• Start developing contracts (first draft received 10/10, Final draft signed 10/23)
• Home inspection with a social worker to make sure we don't live in a crack house (10/6)
• Physical evaluation with ORM ( 11/21)
• OB clearance and bloodwork (initial appointment on 11/25 with final results coming in on 12/22)
• Fill out initial questionnaire on NWSC website (7/1)
• Receive a call from NWSC representative (7/3)
• Fill out a more in depth Surrogate Questionnaire (7/7)
• Have a phone interview to discuss some of the harder parts of surrogacy- like abortion and selective reduction (7/11)
• In person interview with NWSC reps. Mark had to attend as well. At the interview, we went over the process pretty in depth, talked about our wishes for IPs and signed some more paperwork. (7/14)
• Send NWSC photos of our family for the profile, release my pregnancy medical records to NWSC so they can send them to Oregon Reproductive Medicine (the clinic that will conduct the IVF cycle), and have my health insurance policy faxed to NWSC. (All of this was completed by 8/7)
• Psychological evaluation- Mark and myself had to meet with a psychologist to make sure we are mentally stable enough to take this journey. It was very relaxed and layed back. I also had to take a 320+ true/false questionnaire. The psychologist then had to write a report and approve us. (Eval on 8/21, approved 9/5)
• Have ORM review and approve my medical records (9/3)
• Recieve IP profile and decide if you want to move forward with them- we did! (9/8)
• "Meet" the IPs. Our couple lives in France so we will be meeting them through Skype. (9/18)
• Start developing contracts (first draft received 10/10, Final draft signed 10/23)
• Home inspection with a social worker to make sure we don't live in a crack house (10/6)
• Physical evaluation with ORM ( 11/21)
• OB clearance and bloodwork (initial appointment on 11/25 with final results coming in on 12/22)
• Start medication- received med calendar 12/23, started injections 12/29 (birth control started 11/16)
• Embryo transfer- hopefully the baby/ies stick! (2/2)
• Bam! Pregnant!- (First BETA confirmed pregnancy on 2/11; first ultrasound confirms TWINS! 3/2)
• Carry out the pregnancy
• Deliver
I'm sure there are other steps in there that I'm missing but that's the gist of it. We are very anxious to move onto the next steps!
• Embryo transfer- hopefully the baby/ies stick! (2/2)
• Bam! Pregnant!- (First BETA confirmed pregnancy on 2/11; first ultrasound confirms TWINS! 3/2)
• Carry out the pregnancy
• Deliver
I'm sure there are other steps in there that I'm missing but that's the gist of it. We are very anxious to move onto the next steps!
Let's make some babies!
Hello cyber world!
My name is Kayla, I'm a 24 year mother of two handsome boys and wife to Mark. We are very excited to take part in the exciting journey of gestational surrogacy! For those of you who aren't familiar with surrogacy, basically I'm going to lend my uterus to a couple so they can bake their baby/ies in it! The baby/ies will have no genetic relation to me and they will be implanted via invetro fertilization (IVF).
So why would I want to do this? Why would I want to be pregnant for someone else and go through some of the worst pain a human will endure naturally, all for strangers? Well, the thought of surrogacy crept into my mind while I was pregnant with my first son, Gunner. Even though he wasn't planned (surprise!), I absolutely loved being pregnant. I was very, very blessed with incredibly easy pregnancies. No nausea, limited aches and pains, and an over-all happy feeling when carrying a little one. I thought, "I could do this for a living!". Being a surrogate didn't really, seriously tug at my heart until after I delivered Gunner. The love you feel for your child is unreal. That moment right after birth when you touch your baby for the first time is out of this world. I couldn't imagine not being able to have my own children. Knowing that people struggle and are unable to make a family of their own was heartbreaking; so I knew then that I wanted to give a family a baby- or two!
When I first mentioned surrogacy to Mark he was not on board but I expected that. Surrogacy is something different and new and not a ton of people do it (even though it is becoming much more popular). Also, the surrogacy stories you hear about are always the horror stories where the birth mom runs off with the baby or the Intended Parents (IPs) abandon the baby and leave the birth mom to take responsibility for a child she wasn't planning on keeping. So I understood his hesitation. In fact, I understand everyone's reaction when I tell them I want to be a surrogate- good or bad. It's something new and unfamiliar and it's only natural to question it.
Anyways, when Gunner was one, I started reading tons of blogs and doing lots of research. I had some good heart to hearts with Mark about why I wanted to be a surrogate and how it could positively impact our life and family. I explained the process (how the baby isn't related to me and, no, I don't have to have sex with another man) and that there's a good chunk of monetary compensation*. He eventually realized how positive it would be and agreed to allow me to become a surrogate! BUT we both agreed that we wanted to have another kid, first.
So we got busy making our own baby so we could make one for someone else!
*If you're interested in how much a surrogate is compensated, please feel free to check out http://www.nwsurrogacycenter.com/surrogate_mother_compensation.html
This is the surrogacy center I am going through and the above website shows how surrogate compensation is broken down. I'm very honest about the money involved because it is a factor in our decision to carry a baby for someone else. Not that I wouldn't do it for free for the right people, but receiving money is a way for me to provide for my family while helping to create another.
My name is Kayla, I'm a 24 year mother of two handsome boys and wife to Mark. We are very excited to take part in the exciting journey of gestational surrogacy! For those of you who aren't familiar with surrogacy, basically I'm going to lend my uterus to a couple so they can bake their baby/ies in it! The baby/ies will have no genetic relation to me and they will be implanted via invetro fertilization (IVF).
So why would I want to do this? Why would I want to be pregnant for someone else and go through some of the worst pain a human will endure naturally, all for strangers? Well, the thought of surrogacy crept into my mind while I was pregnant with my first son, Gunner. Even though he wasn't planned (surprise!), I absolutely loved being pregnant. I was very, very blessed with incredibly easy pregnancies. No nausea, limited aches and pains, and an over-all happy feeling when carrying a little one. I thought, "I could do this for a living!". Being a surrogate didn't really, seriously tug at my heart until after I delivered Gunner. The love you feel for your child is unreal. That moment right after birth when you touch your baby for the first time is out of this world. I couldn't imagine not being able to have my own children. Knowing that people struggle and are unable to make a family of their own was heartbreaking; so I knew then that I wanted to give a family a baby- or two!
When I first mentioned surrogacy to Mark he was not on board but I expected that. Surrogacy is something different and new and not a ton of people do it (even though it is becoming much more popular). Also, the surrogacy stories you hear about are always the horror stories where the birth mom runs off with the baby or the Intended Parents (IPs) abandon the baby and leave the birth mom to take responsibility for a child she wasn't planning on keeping. So I understood his hesitation. In fact, I understand everyone's reaction when I tell them I want to be a surrogate- good or bad. It's something new and unfamiliar and it's only natural to question it.
Anyways, when Gunner was one, I started reading tons of blogs and doing lots of research. I had some good heart to hearts with Mark about why I wanted to be a surrogate and how it could positively impact our life and family. I explained the process (how the baby isn't related to me and, no, I don't have to have sex with another man) and that there's a good chunk of monetary compensation*. He eventually realized how positive it would be and agreed to allow me to become a surrogate! BUT we both agreed that we wanted to have another kid, first.
So we got busy making our own baby so we could make one for someone else!
*If you're interested in how much a surrogate is compensated, please feel free to check out http://www.nwsurrogacycenter.com/surrogate_mother_compensation.html
This is the surrogacy center I am going through and the above website shows how surrogate compensation is broken down. I'm very honest about the money involved because it is a factor in our decision to carry a baby for someone else. Not that I wouldn't do it for free for the right people, but receiving money is a way for me to provide for my family while helping to create another.
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