As you know, I had my embryo transfer last Monday followed by two days of bed rest. Everything went really well with that, as my previous post explains, but once I was off bed rest I started to really stress about everything. I so desperately wanted it to work. We planned to take a pregnancy test on Saturday as we Skyped with the guys so we could all find out at the same time, which I was so excited about. Saturday morning would be almost 5 days past the transfer and women usually get their earliest positive home pregnancy test results around 5-7 days past transfer- so we would be testing a little early. The time between Wednesday and Saturday was close to mental torture. I began stressing about everything; running every scenario through my head.
Did I do everything correctly? Am I placing the injection in the right place? Is it actually getting down into the muscle? What was that twinge? Oh god, I'm crampy... Wait, that's a good thing. But what if it's not? What if it doesn't work? Are the guys going to blame me? Will they hate me? How will I feel? Was that a flutter? Why am I peeing so often? I'm bloated... Is that because of the meds or could that be a pregnancy sign? Mark, come over here and feel this area to make sure it's good for the injection. What will I say if the pregnancy test is negative during our skype? Is Saturday too early to test? Oh god, maybe we shouldn't do it Saturday. Maybe we should wait. If it's negative on Saturday, will it be positive on Sunday? How will everyone look at me if this doesn't work? I've been so open about this process, should I have been more reserved? Will I be supported or seen as a failure? Well, this girl who transferred the same day as me already has a faint positive test, should I test before Saturday? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE WORK!
My mind. wouldn't. stop. Mark had to pull me down from my stress cloud several times during that period. I just wanted to know. I just wanted my body to work and these babies to stick. For everyone involved. I've been through the "two week wait" before with my own children but this was way more stressful. I had people counting on me. All I could do was take care of myself the best I could and pray. Lots of prayer. I prayed that whatever the outcome, it would be God's will. I prayed that He would lead me down the path he wants me to follow. That He wouldn't allow anything to happen that he didn't approve of. I prayed for M & S, that they would have peace during this wait and that they would accept the outcome, whatever it may be. I prayed for peace.
I'll discuss the outcome of the Saturday test and tests after in another post. I just had my blood test (called a BETA test) with ORM done two hours ago and we are waiting for the official results. I don't know when M & S will be comfortable with me posting the outcome on the blog but I want to give them time to process everything and tell their family and friends before I say anything on here. If any of my friends/family would like to know what's going on, you can reach me privately, otherwise, I'll update when I can.
Besides the mental turmoil, the injections have also been getting a little rough. I had a couple day period where I couldn't figure out which side to inject because both were so sore. I will admit, these injections aren't that fun. It's not the shot itself that is difficult, it's the soreness/lumps after. If I am indeed pregnant, I will be able to reduce my dose of PIO from 2ml/day to 1ml/day after my second blood test on Friday, which should help tremendously. Every time I start to complain about the injections, I have to remind myself that this is SO MINOR in comparison to what we are trying to do here. Giving a deserving couple a baby/ies is totally worth all the pain.
Right now I feel pretty good. With the home tests we've done, I have a pretty good idea if it worked or not. Of course, there could always be a surprise with the blood test but I'm pretty certain I know. It's nice to know. I feel relieved. Now I know what to do to prepare myself for the future and keep myself as healthy as possible.
Next Week: Or this week, rather, since we're already half way through it lol.
If today's BETA test come back positive, I will start Micronized Progesterone Suppositories twice a day. These are vaginal suppositories that is just another way of putting progesterone in my body, decreasing my chance of miscarriage. I've heard horror stories about these little boogers so stay tuned to hear how gross they may or may not be Haha.
If today's BETA is positive and Friday's BETA looks good, I'll decrease my PIO down to 1ml/day, which would be AMAZING. Right now I feel like my bum doesn't have a chance to heal up in time for the next shot so hopefully decreasing the amount will help with everything healing in time.
Of course I'm still taking my prenatals and aspirin every day.
I've been making sure to go to the gym regularly, not only to keep my body healthy, but to keep my mind healthy as well. I feel so much better when I'm exercising. I'm going to keep tabs on my workouts for the week as we continue the process. If I'm pregnant, especially if it's twins, I want to continue working out as much as my body can handle because everyone will benefit.
I've been doing a lot of research on healthy pregnancies and have found some really great, interesting stuff on the direct influence a woman's health has on the baby she's carrying. If you are a woman who is or will ever be pregnant (or if you are just interested in sciency stuff), I highly suggest researching Epigenetics. Origins by Annie Murphy Paul is a GREAT place to start. Research is finding more and more evidence that links our lifetime health to the environment we are exposed to in the womb. Things like heart disease, obesity, temperament, allergies, diabetes, anxiety, stress capacity, and so much more can be linked to the health of the mother, both physical and mental, during pregnancy. If there is any time in your life that you are going to be healthy, please let be when you are trying to conceive and throughout your pregnancy. Anyways.. I could go on about this stuff forever. That's just the doula in me. If anyone has any questions or would like more resources on Epigenetics or maintaining a healthy pregnancy, please let me know and I'd be happy to help point you in the right direction.
Finger crossed for a good result on today's BETA.
<3
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Medication:
Days on Prenatal Vitamins: 90
Baby aspirin: 45
Baby aspirin: 45
Delestrogen Injections: 8
PIO Injections: 16
Doxycycline: 32 (first round finished 1/7, second round finished 2/2)
Medrol: 7 (finished 2/2)
Active Birth Control Pills: 46 (finished 1/2)
Lupron injections: 29 (finished 1/29)
Procedures:
Acupuncture Sessions: 10
Vials of Blood Drawn: 16
Embryo Transfer: 1
Vaginal Exams: 2
SIS: 1
Mock Transfer: 1
Internal Ultrasound: 2
Vials of Blood Drawn: 16
Embryo Transfer: 1
Vaginal Exams: 2
SIS: 1
Mock Transfer: 1
Internal Ultrasound: 2
Weight:
Start of medication: 162.6
1 week of Meds: 163.4
2 weeks of Meds: 159.2
3 weeks of Meds: 161.6
4 weeks of Meds: 163.6
5 weeks of Meds: 161.4
6 weeks of meds: 163.4
6 weeks of meds: 163.4
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